


Words

by Lixiva



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Declarations Of Love, Drabble, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Love Letters, M/M, One Shot, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Canon, Wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:02:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lixiva/pseuds/Lixiva
Summary: Sometimes it's hard to say the things you really want to say when you're talking to the love of your life. Especially when said love doesn't know how you feel about them.Lance knows this better than anyone.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Just a short one-shot 'cause I'm feeling soft :D

Lance knows that there are words which he should never have left unsaid. That there are things he should have told him. He should have told him everything, from start to finish. And maybe then, he wouldn't have been left feeling this lost.

Words are a tricky thing. They stick in the back of your throat when you want them to come, but also seem to tumble out against your will. They hurt and they heal, they make and mend.

And now Lance thinks about all the words which are still swimming around his mind. They swirl in a tumultuous wave, only to crash and drift away when he opens his mouth.

Things like, _I never hated you_. And, _maybe it was me who was driving a wedge between us the whole time_. And, _you'll always be my rival, but I don't hate the idea of it at all anymore_.

Lance drums his fingers on the kitchen table and gazes lazily out of the window. The fields are pink with juniberry flowers, and Lance's nieces and nephews play amongst the farm animals.

 _I wish you were here_ , Lance thinks as well. _I wish you were here but that would be selfish_. The words rattle around in his head. _I miss you, I miss you, I miss you_.

He thinks back to last Christmas, when Keith came to visit him, sporting new scars on his body but the same old grin on his face. _Please be more careful,_ bounced around in his head, _I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt up there._

He goes further back to when they were still in space.  _ What will happen when all this is over? _ Lance grips his coffee mug and takes a sip.  _ Please don't forget about me. _

The drink burns his throat as he remembers Keith flying towards the shield.  _ What would have happened if Lotor hadn't arrived? _

He remembers wanting to grab Keith by the collar and wanting to scream in his face.  _ Are you stupid? You could've died! Then what? How are we supposed to keep on going? _

_ How am I supposed to keep on going? _

A sigh escapes his mouth and he stands wearily, walking to the kitchen.

He reminisces the day Keith carried him to the pod, and the next morning when Keith claimed they'd bonded.  He feels his mouth press itself into a dry smile.  _ I remember. Of course I remember. _ Why hadn't he said that instead?

If he had, would things have turned out differently? What if things had been different from the start?

Lance dumps the empty mug in the sink and leans against the wall. 

_ I just wanted to be your equal. I just wanted to be able to stand by your side instead of one step behind.  _

He feels some level of frustration now. Why hadn't he said any of it? Why was it that every time he opened his big mouth, it blabbered something stupid?

_ I just want you to know. I just want you to know how much I love you. _

He groans, dragging a hand down his face.  _ I want you to know so badly. I want you here by my side, but I couldn't ask that of you. I wish I could tell you everything I've ever wanted to say to you. Every little thing. _

But he knows he can't. He knows that if he stood in front of Keith, the words would never come. He knows…

Lance bolts upright and races to his room, heart thumping. He rummages through his drawers in a frenzy until he finds what he's looking for.

He pulls the lid from the pen with his teeth and begins to write.

***

_ Dear Keith, _

_ There are so many words I should never have left unsaid. _

_ I should have told you right from the start that I wanted to be your friend, to be close to you. I never wanted this stupid rivalry, and I'm sorry for pushing it. I'm sorry that I shut you out, and I'm sorry that it took so long for us to get close.  _

_ I wish we could've been friends sooner, that I could've had someone as amazing as you in my life sooner. _

_ I should have told you how much you matter to the team. I should have told you every time you ever doubted yourself that you are the strongest person I know. And I look up to you so much, it's insane. You're amazing. I should've drilled that into you. _

_ I should have told you I remembered our Bonding Moment. I should have thanked you for that, and I should have told you that it meant something to me even if I couldn't even find the words. _

_ I should have told you how important you are. Maybe then, you wouldn't have acted so recklessly, like you were expendable. You aren't. I should have told you that if you left, you'd be taking a part of me with you. _

_ I should have told you just how much you mean to me, how much I love you. Great, now that I've written it on the paper I can't exactly take it back. _

_ I love you. _

_ So much. _

_ And it's hard not regretting telling you so late. I wish I'd told you sooner, I wish I'd been brave enough to. I wish my heart didn't jump up to my throat every time I saw you. I wanted to tell you this in person, but here we are. _

_ I love you a lot, and I'm not even sure when it started. It was slow and then fast and suddenly I was in so deep I didn't know what to do. _

_ I should have told you that. Instead of chasing things that didn't matter the way you do. _

_ And now… well, I'm stuck on this farm, and you're up in space still playing the part of the brave, reckless samurai. And who can blame you? You play the part better than anyone else. _

_ I should have told you last time you came to visit to be more careful. That I can't bear the thought of you fighting and sacrificing yourself up there while I'm here on earth, oblivious to it all. It's selfish, but I can't stand it. _

_ I just want you to be safe. I want you to be okay. You deserve to be okay. And I know you're happy with the work you're doing, and I'm proud of you too, but I worry. _

_ Sometimes at night, I lie awake and think about how things could've turned out different. Maybe you'd be here by my side right now, or maybe that's just wishful thinking. Or maybe I'd be up there with you. That doesn't sound too bad, actually. Mama would kill me though. _

_ I think a lot about how I should have told you all the little things. Because Papa once told me that the little things are just as important as the big things. Stuff like how your nose crinkles when you smile. And how when you laugh, it's bright enough to light up a whole room. And that when you blow your fringe out of your eyes during a fight, my insides do a goddamn flip. _

_ Stuff like how you always seem to know how to calm Shiro down. How your hugs are just as good as Hunk's, you just don't give them as often. How you care so much about all of us, and it shows, and it makes me feel warm. _

_ I should have told you all that. And now I feel kinda dumb. And lost. Because I took too long, didn't I? Maybe I thought you'd always be around, that there was no need to hurry. _

_ But now I know how important it is to tell people how much they mean to you, because they could be gone the next day. _

_ The point is, I really want you to know this. I might be late, but later is better than never. You deserve to know all this, heck, I deserve to tell you and give this a chance. _

_ I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful. And I can't fathom a universe without you, because in all the flying-around-space we did, I never saw anything that made my heart feel as full as you do. _

_ I don't know what we'd do after this. I don't know if you even feel the same way, and even if you do, I don't know how you feel about long-distance relationships. _

_ But I'll always be here. I should've told you that too. No matter what, I'm always gonna be here for you, and I know that you're gonna be there for me too.  _

_ And I know this letter was focused a lot on what I should've done, rather than what I can do now to fix all this. So I'm gonna start by sending you this letter. Maybe it can make up for everything I never told you.  _

_ Love,  _

_ Lance _

_ *** _

Lance is once again seated in the kitchen, nervously drumming the table as his thoughts whirl. He had asked Pidge to deliver the letter last week when she came to visit, and he's sure that Keith has received it already.

_ God, why did I write that letter? Why did I think it was a good idea?? Oh no, Pidge probably read it before she gave it to Keith. Now she knows. I bet she told everyone. I bet Keith's read it by now. I bet he's disgusted. He's never gonna visit again. What am I gonna do?? What if I never see him again? Oh God, he probably hates me now. He hates me. Why did I send it? I should have burnt it. He hates me he hates me he hates m- _

A loud rapping on the front door shakes Lance out of his spiral. Heaving a sigh, he stands and drags himself to the door. He hopes it's the specially-made juniberry fertilizer he ordered last month.

He opens the door, and immediately chokes.

It's Keith.

And he's standing there all sweaty and red-faced, panting like he's just run a mile, and yet he's still managing to look like the most gorgeous thing Lance has ever seen.

Eyes flitting over to the path behind Keith, he can see his hoverbike ditched carelessly in the grass. Last time he checked, wasn't Keith up in space attending a conference?

"Lance, I'm sorry if this is a bad time, but I really need to talk to you."

_ Oh no. Ohhhhhh no no no. The letter. That's what this is about. He's here to reject you and tell you he never wants to see you again. Quick, say something smart. _

"Who's Lance?"

"What?"

"I- uh-" giving up on saving his dignity, Lance tries to slam the door shut, but Keith sticks his foot put in time to catch it. Curse his lightning reflexes.

"Lance, can we  _ please _ talk?"

He looks up into Keith's eyes and his breath catches.  _ Oh boy, here we go again. Talking. With Keith. You're great at that, aren't you, Lance? _

He breathes heavily out of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut in a frustrated pout. "Alright, yeah, inside, into house, come," Lance finally splutters eloquently.

Keith smiles and strides in, and Lance leads him to the kitchen table. 

"Sooooo… what's up?" asks Lance, even though he already knows what's up.

"Well, um," Keith fishes around in his pocket for a second, before pulling out a piece of paper. Lance flushes as he spreads it out onto the table. The letter. "I wanted to talk to you about… this."

"Oh. Oh! Haha, you see, the funny thing is I didn't write that letter! It was my- my cousin, he's the jokester of the family, always pulling pranks on me, ha ha!" Even Lance winces at his own pathetic rambling.  _ Stupid idiot. _

"Oh," Keith's gaze drops, and he looks… disappointed? Guilt gnaws at Lance's insides, until he finally caves in.

"Okay, fine, I did write that letter. And everything I wrote in it was true. Are you happy now? Go ahead, laugh," he spits out, turning away. He can feel Keith's startled gaze on him.

"I'm not going to laugh," Keith says quietly after a long silence. "I'm not some kind of monster, what the hell Lance?"

"Okay great, you're here to pity me instead. You know, you could've just given your rejection letter to Pidge to give to me. There's no need to deliver it in person."

"Lance, would you please just let me finish?" Keith's tone is growing frustrated, but Lance ignores it.

"Go on, tell me how much you hate me now, and how you don't want to see me again. I get it, just go for it. Get it over with, I can deal with it."

"What? I don't hate you! Why would you even  _ think _ that?" 

"Why're you here then? Wanna see my pathetic self in person? Wanna mock me? You probably think I'm such an idiot, ha, I can't exactly blame you now ca-"

"Would you  _ shut up  _ for a second!?" Keith is on his feet in a flash, hands slammed on the table. Lance shrinks back into his chair, eyes wide. He hasn't seen Keith this agitated in ages. Oh God, he's really messed up now.

"First of all, I don't know how you could think for even a second that I'd hate you or mock you for having feelings for me. What kind of person do you think I am? I would  _ never _ belittle you for something like this, you should know better than that!" Keith cries incredulously. 

Lance bites his lip, feeling ashamed. Keith is right. He'd never treat Lance that way, or anyone else he cares about, for that matter.

"So I don't know what all this down-talking is," Keith continues, "I didn't fly halfway across the universe to sit here and listen to your self-deprecation. I didn't come to listen to you just give up on yourself. I came here because you told me you love me and-" his voice catches. Lance is stunned. Keith is… crying?

"I came here because you told me you love me, and I haven't gotten to tell you all the stuff I've always wanted to say as well," he finishes, voice wobbling. He slumps back into his chair, rubbing his tears away frustratedly.

"I'm sorry."

Keith looks back up. "What?"

"I said… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I rambled like that, I just- I just didn't want to hear the truth, I guess. I should've listened to what you had to say. And I know you'd never hate me over something like this, I wasn't thinking straight."

"Oh." Keith blinks. "I'm sorry too. For yelling."

Lance breathes a sigh of relief. The atmosphere has finally settled down again. "So, uh, what did you want to tell me?"

Keith takes a deep breath. If Lance didn't know any better, he'd even say he was blushing.

"Okay. Um, first, did you really… mean everything you said in the letter?" he asks shyly.

Lance's heart skips a beat and his mouth goes dry. "Yep," he manages to choke out. "I meant every word."

Okay, Keith's  _ definitely _ blushing now. "I- cool. Alright. Well. Um.  _ Oh, for God's sake _ \- I'm in love with you."

It's so quiet in the room that Lance is sure Keith can hear his heart beating. It honestly feels like it's about to jump out of his chest.

Keith… Keith is in love with him.  _ The _ Keith Kogane, love of his life, the most amazing and gorgeous boy in the whole universe, is sitting across from him in his kitchen, telling him that he loves him back.

Before Lance can implode, Keith presses on. "I have a lot I want to tell you and I debated on writing a letter, but I decided I really wanted to see you. So here I am."

Lance is still unable to form words, and Keith is beginning to look slightly worried. "Uh, is this too much?"

"No, no, go on," he replies, hating how strangled he sounds.

Keith takes a deep breath. "I think I was drawn to you right from the start, back at the Garrison. You were this- this beacon, this ball of energy. Everywhere you went, you left a trail of bright smiles. I couldn't fathom how you managed to be  _ so happy _ all the time. While I was this emo kid that sat in the back corner of the classroom. I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't know what I'd even say."

"Heh, so you did remember me that day when we were breaking Shiro out!"

Keith flushes. "Well… not exactly. You looked  _ really _ different- a good different, mind you- and I didn't immediately recognize you."

_ A good different _ . If Lance dwells on it too long, he's bound to combust, so he nudges at Keith to continue.

"Well, we went up into space. And that was the first time I really saw you up close. And I realised that you weren't a constant ray of sunshine like I'd thought-"

"Hey!"

"-You were way better than that! You were… human. You weren't out of my reach after all. You made mistakes, you got pissed, and you could be annoying as heck when you wanted to be. And I realised then that maybe it wasn't so impossible for me to get close to you after all."

"Oh, Keith."

"And everything snowballed after that, I guess. I couldn't be in the same room as you without wanting to reach for your hand- God that sounds dumb. It got better after a while, after I got used to it, but- shit, Lance, I couldn't keep my eyes or mind off of you. You were everything to me, and you still are."

Lance doesn't realise he's crying until Keith raises a hand to his cheek and brushes his tears away. 

He leans into the touch, and looks up at Keith through his lashes. There is concern in his eyes, but also something softer.

"I love you, so much," whispers Keith finally. "I want to have something with you. And I know it'll be hard with me being in space and you being here, but I want to try, if you feel the same way."

Lance draws in a deep breath. It feels as though a weight has been lifted off his chest. And now he feels light and fluttery and hopeful, and it's a beautiful feeling. "I love you. And I want to be with you as well." He finds the words come easily now. And now he's started, he can't stop. "I don't care how hard I have to work for it, I want this to work out. I want to take you on dates and hold your hand and cuddle with you on the couch and- I want everything with you. I want you, so bad."

Keith grins, and it's so bright that Lance can't help but grin along with him. "We're so silly. I can't believe it took us this long to finally say something to each other," Keith smiles, shaking his head.

"I was scared for the longest time. But now I'm not even sure what I was so scared for."

"Well, we finally got here, at least." Keith smirks. "It feels good to finally be able to say it. I love you."

"I love you. I love you I love you I love you," the words roll easily off of Lance's tongue, and Keith laughs.

"You know, though, we've been talking an awful lot," Lance says playfully, "I thought you were a man of action?"

He doesn't miss the glint in Keith's eyes, and he can feel his cheeks heating up again as he realizes what is about to happen.

"Well, say no more," Keith smirks, and his lips are on Lance's in an instant. 

Lance decides that sending the letter was quite possibly the best thing he's ever done. He falls in love all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this drabble and if you feel like it, do go and check out my Instagram, @luxanthaea, I post many more of my works there!


End file.
